bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
