So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
