I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Houston, we have a blender
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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