k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
