tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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