Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
