Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
