"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So many bounce houses so little time
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
