don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
