I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
