I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
