Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
