I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
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