At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
