Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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