are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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