Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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