But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Randomize
