you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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