Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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