when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Fuck appropriateness.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize