He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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