Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
