He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My ass is underappreciated
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize