Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize