i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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