I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
