i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I enjoy the company of your penis
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
