Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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