What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
