So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
