: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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