it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize