you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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