she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Randomize
