Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
FUCK WHALES
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
