Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize