the new term for farting is butt boxing.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
you inspire me to be a worse person
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
