but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
