He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
