Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just gift wrapped bread.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
