In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
