im gay
i know
yea but for you.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
