he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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