Having a random hookup so left but love u
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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