Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Randomize
