Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
