we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
