So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
