Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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