I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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