I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Randomize
