It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
