you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
