you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
