Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
