There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
