I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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