My friends, they love my intelligence
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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