my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
