pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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