i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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